Hi all. I have moved…..to a much nicer place…bigger too! *giggle*  Come see me…..bookmark me…..and follow my growth as His slavegurl.      click here>>>>    SLAVEGURL

My best to all!!!!

Wow. This week has been such a glorious blur. It has gone by so fast. I come home tomorrow with a head full of stories to tell..lessons learned..decadence experienced, and things to think on. Much talking, laughing, and honesty. Things to work on for us both. Did I say wow? Here’s a taste..orgasms galore..nudity in Public Storage..orgasms in Public Storage… mouth full of His cock in Public Storage..truck drivers tempted..a place to ponder..foot massages..blindfolded, collared, clamped, cuffed, topless all in one car ride..short tee shirt and hose only to Wendy’s late at night in the rain..banged on my back beyond belief…glorious floggings….

Stayed tuned………….

Hugs to all…..

PS…add one blindfolded slut on the floor in the ladies room (the private one) sucking her Master’s cock until He cums down her throat!  HEAVAN!!!!!  **giggle**

Hi to all from Georgia. Wow. I must say that I am having the time of my life here. Master is everything I expected and more. My ponder unit is magnificent. Last night was my first evening on it. The design is amazing. I am blindfolded first. My arms are stretched above my head, wrists are cuffed and hung from a bolt. My legs are spread, and ankles are cuffed and chained to the sides. This gives Him the freedom to do as He pleases, and I have no where to go. I can’t do anything to prevent. There is no hiding any little bit of my body. It is all there…..on display……for Him to enjoy and even to torment should He decide to. He did last night. Crop, leather slapper, and His fingers. My gawd, when He put His finger on my clit, as I stood there…..COMPLETLY vulnerable…..sparks flew between us like never before. My body convulsed….my entire body came, I swear to you.

We spend the day talking, laughing, and just being together. And the evenings…..oh my oh my. **giggle**  I am His, and He will have no other….this He has made clear to me. I have things to work on……no one is flaw-free. I need Him. I do not know how to be without Him in my life. This has been made even more crystal clear to me the last two days. He will help me to learn these things…..the things that will please Him…..those that will serve Him. I open more everyday…. as do the beautiful roses He gave me today. 

Lovers day
Hearts day
I have my valentine….my One.

I wish you all a wonderful Valentines eve with the one you love.  Mine shall be special….  then again all the seconds with Him are………….

I love you Master.
pic to be added later!

~slavegurl

I had taken care of myself for so long, because I had to. Every vanilla man I had gotten involved with was incapable of taking care of himself, including my ex-husband. Couldn’t pay bills, shop, clean, nothing. My in-born caretaker took over, and did what she was best at. She ran the relationships. Wore the pants. Took the reins. All the while, her real heart and soul knelt at the feet of the one she loved, trusted, and served.

Before I met Master, I was collared as a slave to another. It did not work out, and due to the very painful struggle I had with that, I decided that I was submissive, and not a slave. My idea was that slaves give up all their rights. They have no choices. By definition, they cannot even choose to leave the relationship. They completely turn over everything, material and spiritual, to their owners. They must be prepared to give up all they are. All their likes and dislikes have no validity unless their owners grant it. That was something I was not prepared to do. Not with the one I was with. 

When Master and I met, He told me that I was much more slave-like than submissive. Of course, that scared me. No more pain, I had promised myself. No more was I going to give myself completely only to receive nothing in return. I would never again beg for attention. More than that, I would never again accept lack of attention because I believed I had no right, as a slave, to expect it.

As Master began to lead me, I held back, refusing to relinquish the idea that I was not a slave. He was gentle and persistent, lavishing me with compliments and attention. He was, by no means, trying to convince me of that which He believed, but simply guiding me. Knowing that I would see, in time,  what He saw in me. I was much more than a submissive. I had different needs and cravings. A submissive needs to be told what to do…a slave needs to do what they are told. It is a craving like no other inside me. A need to please….to serve. I have to. I don’t know any other way. Slowly, He showed me that yes, indeed, I am a slave….a slave to my desires and to His pleasures, which, coincidentally, have been the same from the beginning. Might that be the difference? But most importantly, I am His slave. I have never been more content.

Master has given me permission to post the paper that I wrote for Him in the beginning. However, I am not sure that I want to do that. It was meant for His eyes, and I think it should remain just that.

Tonight, I prepare again to see Him. This time, in person. I absolutely cannot sit still. It will be so good to be in His arms, I am sure I will cry. I know He is ready. And I know He will find many ways to ‘help’ me sit still. *giggle*

I hope to be posting during this next week I spend with Him. But if not, I will post SOME of the details when I return.

Have fun…hug a lot….it feels good……

~slavegurl
 

Hey ya’ll. I am still here….had an internet faux paux…..dumbasses. They shut me off accidentally. *eyeroll* 

I heard a story the other day that started this slavegurl’s mind churning. Master was sharing a bit about a submissive that He once knew. He shared some things that he found curious, and thought they might have bordered on laziness as opposed to submission. I tended to agree. I don’t want to/can’t do the grocery shopping…submissive or lazy? If He wanted her to wear a certain something, He had to go out and purchase it. She showed no initiative…submissive or lazy? I know that submission is a very personal thing for us all. We all have our ways…what works for us. For some, it is a bedroom game. Others take it into their daily lives in varying degrees. And I suppose some use it as a ploy..a way to manipulate…to get what is wanted. Far be it from me to judge. :0)

My last post spoke of a bridge being crossed, an awakening of my soul, so to speak. When I spoke with Master after He had read it, He told me that He had thought just the opposite. He thought that maybe I was shutting down as He had crossed a line of some sort. Apparently my affect that evening was one of a child who had just spilled the tea pitcher at the dinner table, and was about to get yelled at for it. I explained that it was actually a very moving, growth filled experience for me. One that has taken me to a new level as His slave. Funny how things are seen so differently sometimes. That is why communication is so important in a relationship.

I really want to try and put into words what being His slave means to me. That is a post I am working on. Maybe I will ask Master if I may post some of the paper that I wrote for Him, as one of the first tasks He ever gave me. Yes, I think I will do that.

Until then all……take care of each other……

~slavegurl

Sweet mother of you know who! Tonight…what happened to me….in me….was a true milestone. I have turned a corner. One that I have known was always there, but never thought I would see around, let alone walk around. Know that what you read here today is a celebration of my generous and oh so exquisite Master. I am not even sure that He fully realizes what has happened inside His slavegurl. I am not even sure that I fully realize the extent yet myself. Please pardon the drifting of my thoughts, as I am floating right now, body, mind and soul. So sweet.

Master took a new level of control tonight. A gentle, yet firm transition of power occurred between us. No struggle, no claw marks, nothing but sweet transference. He spoke to me, tenderly, but soundly. Quietly, yet I heard Him clearly. My slavery is on a deeper level now. His control now reaches into my desires. He kept me on the edge of bliss tonight, and sent me to bow for Him when I got out of control. He spoke to me as I bowed. I listened closely, my eyes bleared with tears. His voice was so calming and soothing that I literally felt it. Around me, over me, under me, inside me. His voice….talking to me… telling me things….it intoxicates me, enslaves me almost instantly. Reminds me that I am His.  

I was afraid to ask to orgasm, but when He asked me why, I couldn’t articulate any reason. Maybe I was afraid of His answer. Maybe of letting Him down by being a weak, begging slut. A cumslut that wants nothing more than to cum for her Master, over and over again. Maybe.

Before He laid me down to sleep He held me over the edge one more time. It went something like this….

“Thrust your dildo, slow and deep.”
{through moaning}”Master I want to cum. Please”
“No”
“I have to stop Master, I cant fuck myself anymore….I am gonna cum”
“You can’t stop”
“But Master, **pant** I’m gonna cummmmm”
“You cant cum. NO”
“bbbbuttttttt….”
“Do not stop and do not cum”
After what seemed like an eternity, He said, “Now” and I exploded like a volcano, lava flowing down my ass crack, to pool on the bed. Incredible.

Master, know that the emotion you saw tonight was the result of you, once again, touching me deeply, in that place that I ache. Maybe it was your words, your calmness as I bowed for you, your intenseness with the paddle, you arms holding me safely over that edge, then pushing me and running down to catch me, I don’t know. But something happened tonight, and I am more deeply enslaved to you than I was even this morning. This I know for sure. A bridge has been crossed.

~slavegurl
PS….5 days–8 hours–30 minutes–28 seconds!

Hi all. Just wanted to drop by and say I am still here. Had to make up some time from last week at work, so yesterday and today have been 12 hour days. They wear me out. Master has been very patient with me, and getting me to bed early to help with sleep. He is so good to me…and for me.

Our session this evening began with a bit of stress for Master. He had a long day and evening at work and was a bit tired when He arrived home. I was very grateful that He spent some time with me. {Oh..I do hope He doesn’t think that I need a physical session every night no matter what.} True, I do thrive with consistency. That simply means no playing “a” dominant only when it suits you.  I crave and need “dominance” not a dominant. Master is EXACTLY that, and more, so He has nothing to fret over. Anyway, I stray… I did my absolute best to be quick in following directions. I need to learn to do it without explanations of why I am not doing or have not done something else. This does not sit well with Him, and therefor not with me either. He is always very patient with me though, as technology limits us right now. Cams get stuck…..cell phones echo….some are too sensitive…if I make too much noise, the phone cuts out, then I cant hear Him and I have to ask again or say something disrespectful and quite unslave like similar to ”huh?” which causes tension. So I have been working on being less noisy, so to speak. :0)

I am convinced that in 7 days 9 hours and 7 minutes all the technology issues will disappear, and we shall melt into each other. And I will be able to hear every word He says…..as He will be close to me…..  whispering in my ear….how sweet!

I got 2 messages today. #1–you are a gifted office slut and you make me proud and happy   #2 you will be interrogated thoroughly upon arrival….I can see this is going to be needed

I am retiring to bed tonight one happy happy slavegurl……….   :0) 

 I knew how He wanted me, hair up, hose and heels on. I am beginning to very much enjoy being that way for Him. There is something truly decadent about walking around in nothing but a collar, hose and heels. As I prepared for Him, I began to slip into a sweet head space, one where I am completely content, safe, and warm. The place I serve and please Him, tend to His every need and desire. Where I become fulfilled by simple surrender.

He and I were connected last night. Really connected…on a different level…a deeper level. Master noticed also. Through the camera, He looked at me. I gazed back, seeing my protector, my teacher, my guide, my lover…in the eye of my mind, for now.

Through out the session, I strived to move quickly to do as He told me. He did have to remind me a few times to hurry up so as not to lose the momentum. It seems the more my mind changes, the slower I get, almost as if there is a lag in reality versus where I am. I know He understands this, but it still makes me feel bad.

I came hard, many times last night. Master enjoys my orgasms, and rarely does He deny me. He loves me and wants me to feel good. He gently coaxes them out of me sometimes, and other times He demands them. Learning to cum on command is a work in process, one that I will perfect. For Him. 

I look forward to the day I am able to completely surrender under His touch, and settle into Him physically, as His slave.  The day where He can take me to the edge, and beyond, and bring me back, coddle, stroke and sooth me, then take me there again.
The day where I don’t have to do anything except be His. He will take care of everything else.

Bliss

Have you ever tried so hard to write something intelligent, eloquent, deep and soulful…..and have nothing come out? Absolutely nothing is coming out of me right now…..the ends of my fingers seem numb. 

I do know one thing…..I feel more love for my Master today than I did yesterday….and I know I need to feel closer. Soothing and aching simultaneously. Odd.

Quietly content and accepting, absorbing. I need Him, like I have never needed any other. I am beginning to live for Him. 

“I want to put myself absolutely at your mercy for good or evil without any condition, without any limit to your power.”

- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch